19 lessons I learnt before my 20th year of life
28 September 2022
1. Be self-aware of your own needs.
2. Rest needs to be a vital part of your week to recharge and don't feel guilty for it.
3. But too much time alone is not good for you, find a balance.
4. If you weren't ready, you wouldn't have the opportunity.
5. Being productive and 'busy' all the time isn't cool.
6. You are not going crazy, it's probably just anxiety.
7. It's not attention seeking to give yourself credit or say you are proud of yourself.
8. You have the power to do what's best for you.
9. Remember to focus on how you actually feel, rather than how you should feel.
10. Maybe the situation isn't as negative as you always think if you survive every time.
11. Accept you're not going to feel happy all of the time, it's important to feel every emotion.
12. Have an open mind, change is possible.
13. Get off your phone and stop scrolling, you know you feel better for it.
14. Spend time outside and ground yourself.
15. Don't fight the anxiety, the uncomfortable parts are where you grow.
16. Enjoy the little moments in life, those are the ones you remember.
17. Don't wait for permission to do something; if it feels right, go for it.
18. Validating yourself is a hard but achievable process.
19. Ride with the creativity, it gives you a buzz that nothing else will.
Bethan xx
A list of small things to love about Autumn
26 September 2022
The art of journaling and how it could improve your life
23 September 2022
Journaling sounds like a great idea until you actually sit down to start. What do I write? Do I need fancy gel pens? (short answer: yes) Is this even going to do anything?
This has been me many times when I've wanted to start journaling but failed because I don't make time for it. I went through a period of writing gratitudes throughout the summer and when I fell off the bandwagon, it made me realise how much of a positive effect it had on me.
I personally am quite a negative person, where one thing goes wrong and my mood can instantly change but taking time out of my morning to write out a few things I was grateful for, helps to set a much better tone for my day.
For my birthday, my sister bought me a 'wellness journal' and firstly, the cover is beautiful (see photo below) but it is laid out so well and has everything you need on a double page spread. I have used it every day since and I'm starting to see the positive difference writing daily gratitudes had on me again.
If this has any interest in you, here are some ways you could section your pages to create one yourself.
- 'Today's mood'
- 'Focus'
- 'Gratitude'
- 'Track it'
- 'I will honour my mind/body/spirit by:'
- 'I will let go of...'
- 'I will celebrate...'
- 'Free thoughts' (self explanatory)
Obviously, this isn't how you have to do it but if you're a bit clueless then these are simple sections to start with.
How to make it a priority, rather than a habit that lasts a few days
- Set a daily reminder on your phone
- Take your journal on a solo walk
- Journal before bed and write what you've achieved in that day rather than what you plan to do
- Journal as soon as you wake up instead of going on your phone and scrolling social media
- Let go of any judgement (journalling IS cool)
- Get as creative as possible, the more appealing it is to you, the more you're going to do it
A simple guide to a more sustainable wardrobe
18 September 2022
- Having a browse around the charity shops
- Have regular clear outs and sell or give to charity
- Shop in your wardrobe
- Buy on Vinted
- Invest in staple pieces and find that BALANCE
Stealing Julia Robert's style | Notting Hill
16 September 2022
If you know me, you know that me and Notting Hill go hand in hand. I'm a huge fan of Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant as actors, his dancing scene in Love Actually will forever be ingrained in my brain.
Notting Hill is one of those films that I put on and instantly makes me feel in a better mood, I just love it. The late 90s style, the London scenery, the soundtrack and obviously the storyline and William and Anna's unstable but movie like (ironic) relationship. So in a nutshell, everything. Stick on a rom-com and I am hooked.
As I explained in a previous post, whenever I watch a film, I take inspiration from the style and try and recreate the outfits as best as possible or end up on Asos instead scrolling for hours.
As we prepare to eek into Autumn style, which takes me a while to get used to after wearing summer dresses for a few months, Anna Scott does it pretty perfectly; from berets to leather jackets and the classic Vans trainer.
Cat eye sunglasses in shiny black- Asos
Cat eye sunglasses in black- Bershka vis Asos
Oversized faux leather blazer in black- Bershka via Asos
Faux leather cropped blazer jacket in black- Topshop via Asos
Faux leather trench coat in brown- Bershka via Asos
Leather look trench in black- Vila via Asos
I think this is THE epitome of Notting Hill fashion. The different textures between the leather and wool contrast so well together and the famous incognito sunglasses paired with the look finish off the 'trying to be hidden as I'm a famous film star' style.
Leather belt in brown with gold antique buckle- Asos
Wide faux suede belt with burnished gold western buckle in brown- Asos
Basic high neck funnel top in slate- Topshop via Asos
Rib vest with assymmetrical strap in grey marl- Asos
Vest in grey marl- Topshop via Asos
Large linen cover up in teal- Monsoon
Without the floral kimino, this outift is so easy to recreate and one of those 'less is more' kind of looks; with the wide leg blue jeans, brown belt and a grey vest. The links I've given aren't exactly the same items as the ones in the image shown but you may have these in your wardrobe already, or anything similar will create this simplistic outfit. However, the kimono isn't to everyone's taste so I chose only one in case you want to fully steal the look but so many things can be worn instead. It has be something of a loose jacket shape so for me, I would maybe wear a blazer or even a cardigan. I think the hair and the jewellery complete this outfit perfectly, an up-do and dainty necklaces and bracelets.
(stain not to be recreated)
What is your favourite look?
Bethan xx
Life after A-levels | The highs and the lows
14 September 2022
*dusts off keyboard*
First of all, I feel like I should begin with a 'hello'. It's been over a year! And a lot has happened. I finished my A levels! Getting through the year felt like a bigger achievement overall though for me and I'm sure a lot of you who also took exams will feel the same.
In a nutshell, (as I've written a bit about my sixth form experience before) I did enjoy sixth form but like everything, it came with its highs, lows and a lot of stress. Many people told me it was the hardest thing they'd ever done, which slightly terrified me and I chose not to think about it too much during the process, but I would agree. However, it all depends on the individual and time management, organisation and revising as you go along. I worked solidly from January until I had my last exam in early June with my own revision timetable of working until 6ish in the evening. I never thought I'd be able to do that as I'd always been that person that was up until 10/11pm working in my bedroom and never giving myself a break.
Being told (by my amazing counsellor) that I had to stop revising at 6pm and only work in 15 minute blocks was an immediate 'I'm going to fail' moment. That sounds dramatic but my mind raced with thoughts of how am I even going to get anything done to how am I going to cope with feeling like I should be revising when I'm not. Somehow, I followed the timetable and it could not have been more beneficial for me. There is a science behind it that I won't go into now but essentially my brain now had time to file away information into my long term memory from 6pm until the next day and I had time for myself in the evening to switch off and do whatever I wanted to do. An ideal situation.
Something that I know I am is a creature of structure. I love a routine and anytime I'm not in one, my body feels it too. So the idea of finishing my A-levels and being out of that routine I had been in for nearly 6 months was scary to me.
Fast forward to June time and my last exam. Every exam had gone well until the last (how convenient) and I did not get the weight off your shoulders feeling I felt I should have. As well as celebrating in the evening (with a fresh orange juice in a restaurant- that's wild for me), I instantly felt like a hole had been created within me. And as sad as it sounds, that hole was revision. The thing that I knew, was used to and did every day suddenly wasn't a part of my life anymore and I didn't know what to do with myself.
For the first two weeks of my Summer, my anxiety was at an all time high. I hated it, hated being off, hated having more time and as a result, I was quite ill with the stress my mind had given my body.
Some would call this time 'the best summer of your life'. People would say 'you must feel amazing!' which I agreed to with gritted teeth until I plucked up the courage to say 'umm it feels a bit strange', an understatement to say the least. I was frustrated with myself because I was focusing on how I should feel, rather than how I actually felt. This time is different for everyone and it's perfectly fine if you don't feel on top of the world post exams. It's more common to have a 'sooo what now?' feeling.
To make me feel mentally and physically better, I had to come up with a new routine. One that was loose and flexible but made me feel more secure. I say 'loose' because I also felt shattered after doing my exams and who wants to be waking up at 7am when they don't have to? I worked with my counsellor and decided that because I was used to working in the mornings on study leave, I would carry on with a similar pattern of ticking things off on a do list to feel like I could have the afternoon of doing whatever I wanted. Here is where I could go on a tangent about the problems this feeling can cause but I am/was (working on it) one of those people that feels like they have to earn rest. Maybe it's a Virgo thing? I'm not sure. Obviously, I wasn't going to be doing things like school work but even ticking off a yoga session or some chores around the house was enough to make me feel like I had achieved something.
The more I was doing this, the more my body was feeling settled. It was around this kind of time that I also started volunteering at my local St.Elizabeth Hospice charity shop. My auntie became the manager a couple of months before I started which massively helped me feel more confident in doing something that was out of my comfort zone. It was certainly a start! I had a focus and responsibility again. I think doing something completely away from what I was used to was what I needed and with my love of charity shopping, it was a dream scenario.
Then became the idea of getting a paid job. I type it this way because it was something I had always wanted; earning my own money and being able to buy clothes that I probably didn't need. But when it came to it, the idea of staying at home was much more appealing. However, the confidence working at the charity shop had given me allowed me to walk into a bakery in my town and enquire about a part-time job I had seen being advertised in the window. I spent nearly two months there before deciding to give back my apron. I give huge respect to anyone that works in a similar job and can handle it! Especially the 5:30am alarm!
Even though my time there wasn't long, it was one of the best things I could have done. Between struggling to put the jam in doughnuts and always forgetting how much a sourdough loaf costs, I learned everything you possibly could in a first job. I grew even more confident and loved interacting with customers.
In between volunteering and working at the bakery, I tried to enjoy my summer as best as I could. I have a family holiday to look back on, many a beach day at our beach hut and so many visits to coastal towns near us. I managed to pack a lot in! Evidently, it came with its less exciting days too but that's normal.
And in a roundabout way, we are kind of up to present day. I'm writing this on a day when I would be going back to school but obviously, this year I'm not. It feels strange. The thinking of answers to say to people when they ask what you're doing for the next year has already commenced but I am trying to be okay with simply saying 'I'm taking a break', 'I'm taking a gap year', or 'I'm just seeing where the year takes me'.
It's so okay not to know and to figure it out along the way. It's important to recognise how you feel about certain changes and not let anyone else or society make you feel like you should be feeling different, happier in my case. (I'm actually now thrilled I don't need to be thinking about revision, lol!)
Bethan xxx
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